Tuesday, March 31, 2009

You can't say that!

So the big story from our lovely city this morning is the relatively new saga of Chip Tsao infinitely messing up with his attempt at satire. We don’t understand satire in Asia mate, or did no one explain this to you? A cursory inspection of either TVB Pearl or ATV World at 7:30 will reveal that while the surrealism of the continent abounds, you just do not laugh or point it out…. However in the spirit of misunderstanding and possibly in retaliation of the Philippines plucky granting of un-wanted person status on Chip, we may well see some sort of award handed out to him on behalf of the central government – he was being patriotic after all, right?

As exciting as this controversy is, I’ll let the other Hong Kong bloggers handle this one (Hemlock’s posting today was a scream). I’ll tell you the truth, its not Hong Kong that I want to talk about today, nor even Asia, the topic that has been stewing in my mind since last evening is the new Orion Space capsule...

The USA fucked this one up, even more so than Chip Tsao and his comments on the Philippines. America put a man on the moon in 1969, fast froward to 2009 and that is still as far as we have gone. Sure, we've placed rovers on mars and voyager is now leaving the solar system, but i am part of a generation that thinks this is old hat. Has no one read Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson? Thats where we should be already, not in 2030!

Personally, i've been thinking that the renewed US interest in space exploration is in part due to the fact that both China and India are in a desperate struggle to catch up. Lets face it, after the soviet union died there was really no reason for the USA to invest in space, the russians couldn't compete and NASA already owned most of the expensive stuff in orbit. But now that these "third world" nations have set foot in the great vacuum above our heads it seems that NASA is finally getting the funding that it needs to look forwards to the red planet; all i can say is that it took them long enough.

However, going with a space capsule based on the same designs as the original Apollo program is one of the stupidest things i've heard. Yes, the capsule may hold 6 people rather than three, and yes the insides may be chock full of 21st century technology, but don't you think the egg heads at NASA have any better ideas? The journey to mars will be a 3 year round trip, you've made no provisions for artificial gravity, and even more than that, there are no provisions for a reusable orbital vehicle, without which the ISS is basically just a hunk of junk floating in space...

I guess i'm just annoyed that all the visions of SciFi splendor that have been filling my head since i could read will not happen in my life time... Kennedy promised humanity the stars and by god i want them.

On a completley separate note i'm really hoping that the news on the Pirate Bay is an april fools joke.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

An interesting month

Ok, so I’m back, the day before the best rugby tournament in the world I’m back; and I cannot wait for the Hong Kong 7’s. Depending on my hangover you may have to wait a while for the next update!

The world is looking like a very dark place these days, unemployment is up across the globe, there is a furor growing about various bonus packages given to banks in the USA which received bailout money, Donald Tsang and his valiant bunch of cronies couldn’t find their backsides with both hands, and the weather here in Hong Kong is starting to look remarkably grim.

If you had spoken to me back in late October 2008, amidst the insanity of the Obama jubilation, I would have told you that the honeymoon period for this poor man would be extremely short indeed. Low and Behold, come March 2009, and the wolves are already snapping at the President’s heels. Where the Republican Party had an absurd blind faith and followed all the legislation proposed by Bush and his team of merry misfits in an almost zombie like fashion, neither the Republicans nor the Democrats seem to be prepared to afford the same sheeple-like behavior to Obama.

I hate to break it to the large majority of you, but Obama is a man, not an ineffable, all powerful being controlling the very essence of the universe with his noodly appendages. And this is coming from someone who, shock horror, didn’t even like the bloke in the first place. The problems facing America, and indeed the world, are the products of a dysfunctional system that was created in the last 8 years; in other words, Obama inherited the issues, he did not cause them. You have to give him time to fix what’s wrong, he only got the job two months ago; Rome was not built in a day.

Understandably a large portion of the American public is outraged (outraged I tell you), over the fact that AIG executives had the temerity to receive bonuses that were guaranteed to them in March of last year. Never mind the fact that a majority of those bonus receivers had an annual salary of US$1, or that a large portion of them had nothing to do with Credit Default Swaps…. Nope, that has nothing to do with the issue, these people were given 100th the amount of the bailout that the company received and for that we demand their heads. Remember people, 0.002 dollars will NEVER equal 0.002 cents, I think this slight misunderstanding is where all the tension lays. You do have to admire some of these executives though, giving back their bonuses (either to the company or charity), because I know if I were in the same position my response would be a hearty “Fuck You”.

All in all I feel slightly sorry for Obama, he’s trying to manage the unrealistic expectations placed on his shoulders by an overjoyed public, while having to fend off the vicious sniping by the right. I see a Jimmy Carter like administration coming on…

People I do not feel sorry for include our glorious leaders here in Asia’s World City, in fact I am positively gleeful at their every failure and constant bumbling. So when Alice Tai Yuen-ying positively roasted the administration in her last press conference as the head of Hong Kong’s Ombudsman department, I took great delight in the straight forward way she went after Mr. Bowtie.

Some highlights:

On Government Departments:
"If you have good management and monitoring, normally you can control what is going on when problems are still simple"…

On the civil services shortcomings:
"In the previous civil service system ... like it or not, you are in it for the long haul. If you've got a problem, you've got to sort it out. Or you get sorted out."

On the administrations attempts at governing:
They are merely "putting out fires"… "They think that is being responsive. However, being responsive is at the expense of something else. That something else is proper balancing and planning,"

And even though she refused to comment on the latest scandal involving mislabeled or dangerous medicines, her feelings were very clear on how our system currently operates when she says "The system is such that contract staff will take a much shorter-term view of things. If I have no guarantee of employment in my job, I am always going to look at what I am going to do in two or three years' time ... It's human nature.”

Donald has to realize that he is skating on thin ice, however I think as long as we continue to play the obedient face of china to the world, Beijing will continue to give him the support that no Hong Konger will. That is, until we succumb to illnesses while in custody.

Now off to find a raincoat, I’ll see you lot at the 7’s.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Back from the dead

The new year craze (both the Western and Chinese versions) is over, and i have resolved to bring this little corner of the internet back up to speed. So after a rather long hiatus, A Hong Kong Perspective is definitely Alive Not Dead.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Hypocrisy or stupidity? Its pretty hard to tell....

From the BBC:

"The US defence chief has warned relations with Russia could be damaged for years if Moscow does not step back from "aggressive" actions in Georgia."

What the fuck guys, are you seriously going to stand there, all pompous and self righteous, and decry the Russian Actions in Georgia?

The US position regarding the Georgian conflict is absurd. The best example:

"This is not 1968 and the invasion of Czechoslovakia, where Russia can threaten a neighbour, occupy a capital, overthrow a government and get away with it. Things have changed... I have heard the Russian president say that his military operations are over. I am saying it is time for the Russian president to be true to his word." - US Secretary of State, Condi Rice

Hey guys, maybe you've forgotten, but there is this place called Iraq, I think its in the middle east or something, anyways, apparently you still have a whole fuckload of troops over there. You may want to check it out, just a thought before you go spouting ridiculous statements regarding Russian actions in Georgia.

When you realize that the Russians only got involved after the Georgians started indiscriminately shelling Russians in the area, it makes a pretty good point for some intervention.

Attacking a nation just for the shits and giggles, however, is bad. I think the entire world can appreciate that, so again, maybe you may want to look at that whole Iraq situation.

Whats even more absurd is the fact that both Obama and McCain are treating this like it is the number one issue with the election. Seriously? Seriously?! When McCain starts saying things like; "we should reevaluate the Russian position in the modern world", "Russian actions have shown that they are not a responsible nation", i'm sorry, but my bullshit meter just goes haywire. At least obama isn't acting like a self righteous cock.

America needs to sit down and STFU when it comes to the actions of other nations and whether those actions were "right or wrong". Until you sort your own house out you should not be entitled to an opinion on anything else.

I suggest that all US politicians should go sort their own issues out before doing any finger pointing.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Not actually that bad

I'm going to have a fairly radical change of position regarding the Olympics; its not actually that bad... Spending the weekend in a fairly painful state (30th birthday bashes will leave you much the worse for wear)on the couch watching the coverage on the various local channels gave me a lot of time to reflect on the games, and i think, in all honesty, the coverage has been rather good.

Kicking off with a pretty phenomenal opening ceremony was enough to captivate my attention, i mean, all patriotic fervor aside, it was a pretty convincing show (despite the fact that the "footprints in the sky" bit was faked). But i have to say my favorite bit was the commentary team on ATV world.

For those of you who missed it ATV presented us with an Australian man and a Chinese Female (never did quite catch their names). The roles were:

Chinese lady tells us the cultural significance
Australian male keeps us interested

To give you a better example of why i enjoyed this commentary team so much here is an excerpt of the conversation that occurred just before the first athletes entered the stadium:

CL "A 2,000 year old invention continues to bring smiles to the face of the world"
AM "Yep, them kids sure do love their fireworks"

Or perhaps the response to the official Olympic song:

AM "there is a song for the thousands..."

Or the children with their paints:

AM "look at them go, mucking around with their paints..."

What i liked the most though was the fact that every time the Lady made a point in regards to a Chinese invention the man got more and more upset, to the point that he was trying to call copious amounts of "BS" on what she was saying... (no dice there bud - the kite was invented in China)...

I just think that the coverage here is a laugh, not in the bad sense, but the commentary is fantastic - no one seems to have a clue what they're talking about and it only gets better when the nicam kicks in over the various local "talking heads"... I'm addicted - i just can't wait to hear and see what will happen next...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Here we go....

Patriotic Fervor has gripped the country, not just in our fair city but all across the "nation". Streets are being cleaned, lessons in how to quash protests are being given, and China has already suffered a massive slap in the face. Its official, the Olympic games are set to kick off tomorrow, and thank christ for that - it means that there will only be two more weeks of self congratulatory back slapping and ceremonial pomp and circumstance to go...

Its all going off in Beijing at the moment, in fact in an effort to increase security in the capital foreign reporters are being told now that new guidelines are being instituted for Journo's wishing to cover the games from Tienanmen Square: apparently they will only be allowed to do so with a party guide and a reservation, hardly the free and open situation that the international community was promised when China was awarded the games. Perhaps this is a knee jerk reaction relating to the "free tibet" protests that occurred on Wednesday? There is an image to control after all.

Talking about images, what about the members of the US Cycling team who wrote a letter of apology to the Central Government - you remember, those athletes who risked the ire of the PRC by daring to wear face masks at the airport? One suspects that the letter was not written out of their own good conscious but rather because of a directive issued down from on high, can't make China look bad you know. Especially after the thinly veild threat of repercussions against face mask wearing, i wonder what will happen to all those beijingers who wear these items, will they too be forced to write to the government? or will they simply be hauled off to re-education camps in order to learn the true value of FACE?

Beyond the athletics these games have so much happening under the surface that watching the ever present live coverage is as interesting as a train crash. You know there is going to be something spectacular, but the subtleties may pass you by if you don't pay attention, in any case, you can't look away....


In other topics, Regina Ip - lie after lie after lie. First she wants article 21, then, when she's running for reelection, she doesn't. Now its the violent tactics of security forces - apparently the more brutal the better - until she says that she didn't mean that either....

Does anyone really believe a word that comes out of her pale white hide any more?

i didn't think so

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

How is this news?

In a "dog bites man" report released today by Reuters, the news agency reports that there is 'apparent' censorship of the internet in China....

Really guys? You don't say?!

Apparently reporters trying to access the Amnesty International website were unable to do so, hardly surprising considering that AI released a scathing report on Monday concerning the state of human rights, or lack thereof, on the Mainland. According to a Chinese Foreign Ministry Spokesman only sites relating to Falun Gong, those evil vegetarian Tai Chi Masters, would be blocked; but looking at the facts he must have meant, "only sites which the Chinese government does not like will be blocked", hardly surprising considering the history of the net under the great firewall.

The fact that foreign journalists are able to access the internet at all astounds me; a brief call to a mate in Shanghai confirmed that no one could get on facebook today (a travesty if ever there was one), while the only issues being seen by jouno's in Beijing is the fact that they can't access the Amnesty site.

What seems to be happening is, in order to at least seem like they are a modern nation, the Chinese government has allocated the majority of the country's bandwith to Beijing. This means that other cities are going without, and as the largest internet using country in the world, that has got to suck. For those of you who don't know China uses 2 central nodes, one in the North and one in the South. The Southern node is the best of the two, and basically runs much faster than the Northern counterpart (isn't that always the case with china though?). By siphoning off bandwith (which is not hard to do as China Telecom has a monopoly on the internet) from the south and allocating it to Beijing (typically run under the Northern node) they can make it seem like China is able to offer world class communications, which simply isn't the case, at least not normally.

But there is more to this issue than just 'teh interwebs'.

I'm not the first one to say it, in fact, when i was with M***** E**** (selling god awful, over priced corporate sports packages) two years ago i used the phrase "China's Coming Out Party" with far too much regularity, and in effect, this is what the Olympics are - a chance for the PRC to prove to the rest of the world that it has what it takes to be a major power. Fair enough, and in terms of economic and military strength, the answer is most definitely, yes - china is the shit.

However, this "coming out party" has gotten a bit much. So concerned over the massive amount of Face that they are receiving from this event, China is almost sounding like a xenophobic hermit with an "us against them" attitude. Warning that any athlete wearing a mask to protect themselves against the sludge that Beijingers call air, would risk raising the ire of the Host nation and causing the PRC to suffer "embarrassment" seems pretty ludicrous- even more so than the current denials of any pollution at all in Beijing.

Look guys, i know you want everyone to think that china is great and clean and up-to-date, but it simply isn't the case. The best you can do right now is take off all the censors, let the athletes do as they will, and be happy that people are coming at all... I know i feel like shooting the next person who tells me what a great event it will be and how fantastic it is that Hong Kong is getting to participate in this "new china".

We've had 2+ years of news about the Beijing Olympics rammed down our throats, and yes, while i recognize that "the Olympics is a great platform for the entire world to get together, blah, blah, blah.." It really is not the case. These games are about China and the publicity that the country will gain from this event, its about the propaganda that they are feeding to their citizens, the opportunity to get new ideas for their own internal development. The Athletes are merely tools to be used for the great purpose of "furthering the interests of the PRC"....

I don't know where this entry went, i guess i'm just sick of seeing so much Olympic news... Enough is enough already guys, we know its coming, i won't be watching, but i can hardly fail to remember the dates...

I guess i just needed a rant today.